unimportant in the scheme of things, but enough to discombobulate me tonight
didn't get groceries i needed on monday
i shop again tomorrow afternoon
it's thursday night
i'm hungry (not a common phenomenon lately).
i thought i had a can of beans to tide me over, so i didn't go to the store earlier, but i don't.
out of milk, so can't have granola.
well, i could if i use yogurt to mix it up with.
ok, what do i put it in?
my last paper cup in the fridge actually had some mold growing in it.
toss.
i have one clean bowl, and some styrofoam cups i hate.
i don't want sweet yogurt and cereal anyways, i want protein.
i feel like walkin' to the nearest fast food joint and getting a burger.
but its dark out and we don't really feel safe doing that.
but there is internal pressure to 'don't be a wuss and walk'.
and i'm hungry.
my tummy is actually hungry!
so eat then.
i have one clean bowl.
have you ever resisted the urge to use your one last clean dish, cuz you haven't done dishes in over a month and you just might *really* need it?
and you've eaten your cereal out of paper cups for at least a week?
i managed to get two loads of laundry done today.
i'm working at it, as always.
but indecision is getting the better of me with regards to food tonight.
it's only 7pm. it's only been dark out for 2 hours.
the way to the restaurant *mostly* well lit.
but still.
i crave a burger.
a big juicy burger.
what's wrong with me?
i have an appetite!
LOL
and i still don't know what to do.
i feel sick.
i have 18 hours to wait until i get groceries (minus sleep time)
in the fridge?
i'm so bad...
plain yogurt best before dated some time in november
an unopened loaf of bread that's been there probably 6 weeks
some soup and a bun a friend brought over for me in.... early december?
apples - very old.
a box of mini mandarins i'm scared to look in.
(can you tell i don't eat fresh stuff very much?
it DON'T sit well in me gut)....
what's good in there is...
about a gulp of milk i'm saving to take my meds with tonight
two or three individual yogurts.
apples - some i got last week
jam, plum sauce, and other condiments.
in the cupboard:
a can of beans in tomato sauce (gives me heartburn)
a can of refried beans (what do i do with that?)
a can of garbanzo beans. (that may be what i eat tonight. maybe.)
coconut, pasta, brown sugar, granola.
i can't *make* anything.
i can hardly think.
thats why i'm going around in circles here
i'm dizzy
theres so much arguing inside as to what to do that i cant decide
i'm getting frustrated and mad
my friends coming over
maybe she can help me decide
by for now
update:
i ate half a can of garbanzo beans.
um, starchy and canny.
but ok.
then i thought, hey, i coulda ordered pizza.
it was payday yesterday.
oh well, is probably better to not waste money.
but is it a *waste* to get something like that now and then?
even my mother, the premier advocate of not wasting money on oneself
--and i mean everything was a waste--
said a person had to get pizza or something now and then.
but then she excused the *waste* by saying the body is craving a certain ingredient that only the craving will provide.
so to buy pizza once a month is actually doing something good for the body.
ok, i'm just confusing myself again,
enough